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darrynek:

itshinyu:

darrynek:

why get a job when you can get hit by cars and sue the drivers 

And then you get injured and possibility die? I don’t think so.

get rich or die tryin dont you know the fuckin motto



licens:

haranye:

perfect

FINALLY A VERTICAL PITCH PERFECT POST. I FEEL LIKE MY ENTIRE LIFE HAS BEEN LEADING UP TO THIS MOMENT

licens:

haranye:

perfect

FINALLY A VERTICAL PITCH PERFECT POST. I FEEL LIKE MY ENTIRE LIFE HAS BEEN LEADING UP TO THIS MOMENT




powder-biscuit:


Have a history teacher explain this if they can.
Abraham Lincoln was elected to Congress in 1846.John F. Kennedy was elected to Congress in 1946.
 
Abraham Lincoln was elected President in 1860.John F. Kennedy was elected President in 1960.Both were particularly concerned with civil rights.Both wives lost a child while living in the White House.Both Presidents were shot on a Friday.Both Presidents were shot in the head.Now it gets really weird.Lincoln’s secretary was named Kennedy.Kennedy’s Secretary was named Lincoln.Both were assassinated by Southerners.Both were succeeded by Southerners named Johnson.Andrew Johnson, who succeeded Lincoln, was born in 1808.Lyndon Johnson, who succeeded Kennedy, was born in 1908.John Wilkes Booth, who assassinated Lincoln, was born in 1839.Lee Harvey Oswald, who assassinated Kennedy, was born in 1939.Both assassins were known by their three names.Both names are composed of fifteen letters.Now hang on to your seat.Lincoln was shot at the theater named “Ford.”Kennedy was shot in a car called “Lincoln” made by “Ford.”Booth and Oswald were assassinated before their trials.And here’s the “kicker”:A week before Lincoln was shot, he was in Monroe, Maryland.A week before Kennedy was shot, he was with Marilyn Monroe.
 
AND……………….:Lincoln was shot in a theater and the assassin ran to a warehouse…Kennedy was shot from a warehouse and the assassin ran to a theater…
 I saw this had to share just in case anyone did not know.

so crazy

powder-biscuit:

Have a history teacher explain this if they can.


Abraham Lincoln was elected to Congress in 1846.
John F. Kennedy was elected to Congress in 1946.
 
Abraham Lincoln was elected President in 1860.
John F. Kennedy was elected President in 1960.

Both were particularly concerned with civil rights.
Both wives lost a child while living in the White House.

Both Presidents were shot on a Friday.
Both Presidents were shot in the head.

Now it gets really weird.

Lincoln’s secretary was named Kennedy.
Kennedy’s Secretary was named Lincoln.

Both were assassinated by Southerners.
Both were succeeded by Southerners named Johnson.

Andrew Johnson, who succeeded Lincoln, was born in 1808.
Lyndon Johnson, who succeeded Kennedy, was born in 1908.

John Wilkes Booth, who assassinated Lincoln, was born in 1839.
Lee Harvey Oswald, who assassinated Kennedy, was born in 1939.

Both assassins were known by their three names.
Both names are composed of fifteen letters.

Now hang on to your seat.

Lincoln was shot at the theater named “Ford.”
Kennedy was shot in a car called “Lincoln” made by “Ford.”

Booth and Oswald were assassinated before their trials.

And here’s the “kicker”:

A week before Lincoln was shot, he was in Monroe, Maryland.
A week before Kennedy was shot, he was with Marilyn Monroe.
 
AND……………….:

Lincoln was shot in a theater and the assassin ran to a warehouse…
Kennedy was shot from a warehouse and the assassin ran to a theater…
 
I saw this had to share just in case anyone did not know.

so crazy



shotawars:

shotawars:

some guy just called my number thinking i was a male prostitute, and he started talking to me about how much he could pay me so i pulled up gunshot noises on my computer and started screaming and he panicked and hung up

911 jUST FFUCKING CALLLLED ME IA AMC LAUGHHING SO HARD I TOLD THEM THE SITUEATION AND I’M STULL FUCMKING LAUGHING BECUASE NO W HTE’YRE TRACING THE GUY TO ARREST HIM FOR TRYING TO SOLICITEA ND PAY FOR SEX

I’VE DONE A GOOD


emkaymlp:

underpony:

Male problems:  When you wrap a towel around yourself, you don’t have breasts to keep it up

you can keep the towel up by thinking of breasts


solluxx:

paranoidpot8to:

THERE IS A FUCKING COW TRYING TO GET INSIDE MY HOUSE

I AM HOME ALONE

WHAT DO I DO THERE IS A COW PRESSING ITS FACE AGAINST THE WINDOW

tell it to mooove


understanding a joke on the big bang theory

sodamnrelatable:

image



onlylolgifs:

 


im a social vegan

i avoid meet





i want to thank my family….


gayerthanjew:

i feel my american-bred sense of entitlement the most when i get annoyed that the ‘united states’ is sorted in alphabetical order on a drop down menu and not just listed at the top







thatfunnyblog:

Funny Stuff you like?

thatfunnyblog:

Funny Stuff you like?





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